Crash Landing

Last week I was in the Detroit area for the funeral of my brother who passed away from ALS at the age of 85 - a life full-lived. That particular week was scheduled to be an "on" week for me, meaning my 10th chemo treatment should have been on Monday of that week. However, as I did not want to travel, especially to something as significant as a funeral for which I was participating in the Saturday Memorial service and giving the graveside eulogy the following Monday at the cemetery, on an "on" week and deal with the way I felt, I asked my doctor if I could postpone my treatment a week. They said I could and so I did. The result was that I had two successive "off" weeks after my previous treatment and by the weekend of the funeral, I felt the best that I had in months, certainly since my most recent treatments started. I was happy for this for two reasons: (1) I was more "on top of my game" during the weekend and could enjoy the good aspects (such as seeing family for the first time in quite awhile) as well as deal with my responsibilities in the best possible mood and condition that I could; and (2) it gave me a good feeling that with now only two treatments left, because I recovered so fast for the funeral, I am encouraged that when I am done with this treatment (in only a matter of a few weeks now), I will be able to recover much more quickly to a more "normal" state than I originally anticipated.

But as good as I felt for the weekend, I knew that when I returned home, I would be going through treatment #10 the next day. Cyndy had cautioned me that because I was at such a high, the "fall" after the treatment might be greater than usual. Sure enough, I was brought down to earth on Tuesday quite fast. I didn't even go to work on Wednesday and Thursday (my disconnect was the latter day), as I just did minimal working from home. I wouldn't say that I felt worse than normal (fortunately my chest pains continue to be reduced in number, length, and intensity - thank goodness), but I didn't feel any better either. So now as the weekend nears an end, I go through my normal "weekend after an 'on' week" feeling and just try to recover to have enough strength for the week ahead.


Thankfully my neighbor Tony continues to mow our lawn for me. Mowing takes a lot out of me now and I had mentioned that to Tony and his wife Mo a few weeks ago. I was just telling them how difficult it was for me but I was making it, but they took it upon themselves to voluntarily mow my lawn, not just once, but every week since then. Cyndy and I are still trying to think of an appropriate way to repay them. If you have any ideas (short of cash, as we could think of that ourselves, but I'm not sure they would accept it), we're all ears.


So I am now looking forward to an "off" week. My next treatment is July 5 and then my 12th and last one is Monday, July 18. Based upon the way I felt next week, I am looking forward to August 6, which is a Saturday. That will be a full two "off" weeks after my last treatment and I hope to feel as good that day as I did last weekend. I know the chemo takes about 6 weeks to dissipate itself after ravaging my body internals (and I am allowing two months), but if I felt good in only two weeks, that would be wonderful.


But for now, I am just doing my normal recovery from my "crash landing" from my last treatment. I will recover and I know in a matter of a few short weeks, I will feel good again. For all those of you who have taken even one second to think about me, pray for me, or wish me well, I thank you for your thoughts and prayers. They mean a lot and really work.